'Letting Go' Rants

It's been a long time since I've felt this liberated. As one gets older they realize what a joy it was to be in school and have no responsibilities or stress for anything but homework and tests. As one ages they begin to look forward to occasional days in which stress is absent. Unfortunately, the past few months since starting school has not granted me many of those stress free days; this particular week was NO exception.

As it was finals weeks (which, by the way, I've finished and passed all my finals with As) I was exceptionally stressed. Not only did I not have enough time to study, work has been hassling me about my schedule: "This person has to be seen at this doctor THIS week", and "This person has an emergency and must go to the hospital", and from residents, "When is my next appointment? When will you schedule my next one? And will you make another one for me to see another doctor? When will you do it?" on and on and on. So I have stress coming from school to perform well, and stress coming from doctor's, nurses, administration and residents to make appointments NOW and then bend over backwards and kiss myself on my own butt. Not to mention I had to do SOMEONE ELSE'S work that they didn't want to do themselves because they weren't brilliant enough to figure out how to do it; so they kept harrasing me until I did their work for them! With all that pressure coming from so many different sources it's a wonder I didn't blow a socket! So most of this finals week has been me cramming 5-6 people in my schedule per day to take to appointments and staying until past 5:30 which gives me an hour to get home, eat, study and get ready for school before I have to leave for school at 6:30.

Monday morning I came into work early to have my yearly interview (yes, all you who know me well can applaud that I made it a full year in a full time job) and received a 30 cent raise after a fair assessment. The week continued in a terrible fashion with complaints coming from residents and resident families about stupid things like they had to wait for an hour for me to pick them up when I was all the way across town taking yet another person to an emergency appointment. They are actually lucky that they didn't have to wait an hour and a half to see the doctor.

You know that feeling you have when you are flying in your dreams? It feels like the world is yours, nothing can harm you and you've never been so happy in your life. I had that feeling today as I walked out of work, no more giant work bag over my shoulder only a book and a water bottle and I enjoyed the fresh air as I feelings serenity, peace and utter joy swept over me. I was flying!

So, today I was 'let go' on the basis that I never make myself available, I abuse the residents and I make them wait for hours on end at their doctors appointments. Oh, did I mention that the administrator of the facility, who doesn't know me, thinks I walk around like God's Gift to Man and fabricates stories?! If that's true then I guess this whole story is a lie; and I hope God smites me with more of his wonderful gifts. I've filed for unemployment and hope to get it just to shove it in their faces. I'm looking and applying for new jobs on Monday. However, today and this weekend will be pure stress-free relaxation!